Big Ocean Blue Therapy
- Rosie Mae
- Jun 16, 2019
- 2 min read
The ocean has been a place of solitude to escape reality... my relaxation. I used to suffer severely from anxiety and multiple panic attacks (per day) due to high levels of stress in my personal life. I was prescribed different medications for depression, which was supposed to help with suicidal thoughts. My “happy pills” as I called them. Though, I was never happy.
An abusive marriage strained me from every ounce of happiness and life. I found myself desperately seeking refuge, but the idea of traveling alone for solitude, was non-existent. I wasn’t allowed to.
I remembered how the ocean made me feel, as a child, and I started to fill my home with beach and vintage décor, as well as, children. I still felt alone and more so than ever before. When I had the strength and courage to leave, I remember taking in a deep heavy breath and the dark cloud finally went away.
I made a promise to myself to travel. Promised to move with the ocean, go with the flow, and live a much simpler life. I promised to journey through my own backyard to find treasures and hidden gems that will structure my life with positive. I never wanted to follow a dark path of loneliness and pain again. I never wanted to be western medicated nor waste another tear on a man.
I travel to the vast ocean blue and the beautiful California coast as a reminder to ‘go with the flow.’ To travel as much as I do, has been a way to reconnect my mind and soul. Happiness is not a luxury. But often times we aren’t in possession of it because the focus is on the past regrets, our pride, and expectations from others. To see happy moments is uplifting and inspiring.
A lot of my life worries diminish, when I stare into the vast blue ripples. It is almost as if each crash is telling me to let go of a specific.
Though, I mainly find myself not even thinking. I tend to not think and just do. If I spend too much time thinking then the joy is gone and the worries and stress arise. I am lost into the cloudy thoughts of my unsettled mind. I'm very indecisive. Some find this very wrong. I am an “in the moment” individual.
When I am near the ocean, my mind flows with the waves until the tide crashes into the rocks below. Poof – its gone. I don’t need to think anymore. I don’t need to worry anymore. And I clearly don’t need to stress anymore.
XO- R. Mae
Portuguese Beach - Bodega Bay, Ca
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