That Single Life Diary

He saw me. He most definitely saw me. How could he have not? I walked right passed him and our eyes met for the first time EVER. So he must have seen me, right? Why is being a girl so difficult, ugh.

I had spent most of the day in a large lounge chair at a coffee shop in town. There are a lot of different and familiar voices, including characters, who come and go throughout the day. However towards the end of this particular day, I heard a vaguely familiar voice that startled me.

The laughter and sounds from this individual echoed through the large corridor. Even though there was a thick wall of red brick in my view sight, I could still distinctly recognize who it was. Most positive, it was him.

We have never met (Yes, I am aware of how this sounds) and the correspondences are through text and Instagram messages. Our schedules have yet to open (mainly his) so a proper introduction can be made. But our mutual friend continues to provide positive feedback and a large amount of hope that the day will come. Well, that proper introduction could have been today.

I rose from my lounge chair to use the (air quote) “bathroom” and walked (like an idiot) with my head down. I walked at a faster pace than usual and around the corner of this large brick wall. Three men had occupied the nearby counter space to chat. I heard that familiar laugh, looked up, and realized it was definitely him.

As I approached, his eyes locked with mine. It was met with a slight side smile and a gaze. I felt all my insides mush into a jell-o like form and time seemed to halt. Just imagine, The Sandlot, where Wendy walks towards Squints in slow motion and she side smiles. That slow motion action was how it felt, except, I'm not wearing a tight dress with my hair and make-up done. Instead, I had on yoga pants, my band tank, bed hair with a beanie, and no make-up on. The only reason I felt cute was due to my trendy hipster glasses.

When he glanced over, I gasped (probably drooled too), and the nervousness kicked in. When did a heatwave hit the room? I completely forgot how to use words so the next step was to panic and run away. And, I literally did! Straight to the bathroom I go. If I had words, what was I going to say, Hello? Because that would have been too easy!!

As I stood in the bathroom (like an idiot) to compose myself, I wondered what just happened. Images replayed over and over again in my head. Did I really finally seriously JUST see him? In the flesh and for the first time? Am I making this up? Did I fall asleep on the chair and now I am in a dream? Am I drooling? Wake up, missy! (Goodness being a woman is hard) My shaky hands worsened, my breath became heavier, and a heat wave rushed through my body. I stood against the door with my head up to the ceiling, took a large deep breath of fresh air, exhaled, and proceeded to walk out. I stood in the hallway to compose myself once more and felt the vibration of his loud voice from under my sandals. Damn, I looked like a mess.

He said a final good-bye to the staff and I nearly tripped over the bar stool nearby. I was incredibly nervous! Remember, I have never met the guy. It was strange to even see him after months of correspondence via text. I watched him hop, skip, and marathon through the parking lot to his truck. I was too late.

I sat back in the large lounge chair and wondered what just happened, again. How can I forget confidence? How can I forget WORDS?! I knew it was him, we saw one another, I panicked, hid in the bathroom, watched him leave, then walked back to by belongings like a sad dog with my head down. What was wrong with me?!?!

In a frantic, I managed to gather everything and head straight for the door… that was when my phone rang... but it wasn’t him. So, I continued to walk to my car and scan the parking lot in hopes, he may have lingered around... but he was gone. So, I sat in my car and pondered... what do I do? I picked up the phone and started typing...

XO - R.Mae

*Note* Slight exaggeration was provided to better enhance the story ;)